Happy 10th Annivesary Matthew!

 

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Matt,

On October 25, 2014 if someone would have said "This will be your wedding anniversary. A year from now, you will get married!"  I would have looked at them like they were crazy. I was going through a very rough time and just trying to get through life day by day.
But December 24, 2014, after months of your mom talking about you, you walked into Sears in Chehalis, Washington.  Candice said you were there and after her talking so much about you, I felt like I already knew you, that I probably should actually "meet" you.  Your mom brought you over, a clothes rack had just collapsed and said "Kristin this is my oldest Matthew, Matthew this is Kristin. Now help her clean up the clothes." (Feisty woman she is. lol) We made small talk. You said your mom had worked at Sears for 5 years and I corrected you and said it had actually been 9 years. Ha!  You seemed like a nice guy, you were good looking and with what your mom had said about you, seemed life a great guy all around.  I already knew you were single. (Although I didn't understand why!) I stuck around after work for an extra 10-15minutes to chat with you and your family. In my mind I was giving you time to ask me out, sees how I am old fashioned. You never did and I was late for my families Christmas party, so we said our good byes and I left.
Here is the funniest part of it yet. On December 26th, I went into Sears to get some more work clothes. Your mom is the only person I've ever seen slide across a floor in sneakers. She was SO excited to see me. Out of breath she asked if I was single. I said I was. She then let me know you had asked about me. So for a few minutes we plotted about how I was to bring her home from work and see you. Come to find out you were at a friends house. So she called you. You tried to tell her that you would come down to see me, but instead she threw the phone at me and we had no choice but to talk. You asked me out and that night we had our first date.  To this day, I try to remind you that there is no shame in having your mother talk you up and ask me out for you. I get it, you were shy, I was hot and intimidating, it's ok. LOL All joking aside, I never knew that, that would be the first day of the rest of our lives together!
Neither one of us had any idea what life had in store for us and we had no clue what bumpy ride we had to endure.  Probably more so you had no clue what you were getting into. But here we are, 10 years married later and you're still here.
I have to say that you are as close to the perfect husband as one can get. Can you be a knuckle head? Can you get on my nerves? Sure! But I know I do the same to you, if not worse.
You have stuck with through some of my toughest days. Me dealing with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD make me right away, not a fairy tale person to live with, let alone marry and stay with. But you took your vows, "in sickness and in health, till death do we part," seriously.   When I wanted and tried to give up on life, you wouldn't let me. No matter how much I push you away during those dark times, you never go away. When I can no longer fight for myself, you fight for both of us.  When I get out of control in crazy bitch mode, you are gentle enough to let me know I am out of line, but when I am right, you are there to back me up and to help me stand my ground. When life knocks me down, you are right there to pick me back up. When I cry, you hold me, when I laugh, you laugh with me (unless when I trip over something, you laugh and then help me up to my feet. haha), when I need help, you help me, when I get frustrated, you help me understand and when I get so angry I go past being compassionate, you bring me back down and to see things from the other side.
I'm not sure how I've kept you around after all of that. Or why you have stayed. In today's world, just a sliver of what someone had in store with me, they would have ran away, as fast as they could. And yet, you stayed and pretty much said, "Bring it on."  But you love me for ME. You don't try and change me. You try and make me want to be a better person.  You supported me in all of my adventures, even if you knew the end result. You support me, because you want me happy. You do everything and anything you can to try and make me happy.  Any crazy idea's I come up with, you are behind me (even if you are rolling your eyes thinking "Oh boy, here she goes again!"). You have put up with my passion for animals, from taking in animals, bringing every stray home to being a foster home for animals.  Although you say you can't stand animals, I have pictures to prove otherwise. You secretly love them and each animal we've had in this house has loved you!
Just two months into our relationship, I had a surgery and was told I may never have kids. I was SO afraid to tell you. I knew having kids was important to both of us, so I was sure you would cut your loses and move on. But you didn't. Instead you said, no matter what or how, we will have kids. I wanted 8, you wanted 2. Some how we compromised at 4 (even if the last one showed up on his own. haha). 
You survived 4, yes FOUR pregnancies with me. Not once complaining. You always told me I was beautiful, showed me I was beautiful and made me feel beautiful, even when I was as big as a house.  You were there each time during birth to hold my hand and get me through it all. Even with the first when I said I never wanted you touching me again. You  were there to support me during my very difficult time after birth with PPD.  You may not understood it (or depression alone), but you knew that I needed someone there, and you were that person, my rock.  You dealt with my emotional outburst at how I'd never be pregnant again for the first time, sad when I couldn't breastfeed anymore and would cry terribly when I fed the kids their last bottle of breast milk and you have been there when I look at our four amazing children and think, my pregnancy stage of life is over, my kids are growing and we are going into a new stage of our lives, I still to this day cry over the loss of my kids being babies. No matter how many times I cry about it, every time, you are there to hold me and listen to me babble over and over again. You have been there though out it all with our children.
During times where you were scared for me, even though deep down inside I KNEW you were hurt, freaking out, worried ect, on the outside you kept calm and stayed strong.  I'm not sure many people can pull that off. But you did, you stayed strong for me, for both of us. 
October 25th, 2015, married for ten years.  For ten years you have stuck with me, put up with me and my "adventures" and some how still love me just as much if not more since the first day we met.
I cannot say how lucky of a woman I am, that you came into my life. I cannot say how lucky I am that you have stuck by my side, never once giving up on me.  Some how you love me still and still think I am the most gorgeous and sexiest woman in the world.  I love you today, more than the day I met you and I know that, that love will just continue to grow.  You have been my best friend, my lover, my rock, the love of my life, you have been and continue to be my everything.  I can honestly say, that with out you, I would not be here today.
Matthew, I am honored to be your wife, to be Mrs. Matthew Lee Gaffney. I feel so blessed to be the mother to your four children. And I am so lucky to have all of you.  It's been a up and down ten years, but I would not trade it for anything. I love you! I cannot wait to see what the next ten years has in store for us!

Love Your Wife,
Kristin Gaffney