So summer is officially over! Wow has time flied by! Here are so highlights from our summer towards the end!
Emma got her first hair cut, finally at the age of 3! Here is her before!
During!
She did pretty good.
Even though she wasn't so sure about it!
But look at how cute it turned out!
And she was so proud to show off her certificate for her first hair cut!
And everyone always has a blast with the sprinkler and the bubbles! Even Boo does!
We have really enjoyed our summer this year, even with the speed bumps we hit with my health! But we made the most of it and we can't wait to see what the Summer of 2015 brings us!
So these past few months we have celebrated Ben and Emma's birthday!
Ben we celebrated with our good friends Woody, Sam and Terry and their daughter Natalie. Natalie, Terry, Matt and Ben all had August birthdays that were all really close together! The kids enjoyed a nice water fight with Uncle Sam and Uncle Woody! Sadly the photos I had were lost. But I do have a neat collage of Ben with his pinata!
Everyone, including the adults had a blast with the pinata!
And then on September 14th, we celebrated Emma's 4th birthday with a Minnie Mouse birthday party! We had a lot of friends over to help celebrate Emma's fourth year here on this earth with all of us! Emma had a blast and she really enjoyed the company and of course the cake!
Minnie Mouse Decorations
Neat Minnie Mouse silverware holder!
Minnie Mouse cookies with chocolate pink and polka dotted bows!
What party isn't complete with out balloons for the birthday girl?
A hand made birthday banner for Miss Emma!
The birthday girl all ready for her guests!
What party isn't complete with some goodies for our special guests?
A home made Minnie Mouse cake made by yours truly! Not too shabby for my second marshmallow fondant cake!
The birthday table all ready!
Getting ready to blow out the candle!
The birthday girl is ready!
The candle is lite!
Blow Emma, blow!
Sometimes you just have to get really close!
Minnie Mouse pj's? How cool!
Literally her favorite gift from our friends Candyce, Seasun and Jace!
And to think, on October 11th we are having a Frozen birthday party theme for Lilly who will be turning 8! Where does the time go?
To learn more about ALS or to donate please click HERE.
I nominated the following people:
Brian Hill
Mary Newcomb
Bradford Tobin
Kelly Sneed
Michael Hill
Matthew Gaffney
Jeremy Christopher
Amy McAllister
Kayla Bell
Candice Gaffney
Heather Jenkins
Jeanette Brooks
Candyce Walker
And here is the twist I added on my challenge. I'll already be donating $25. But, for everyone that I tagged in this video that posts them doing the challenge on video with in the next 24 hours, I will donate another $10 for every person in their name.
This is a great cause and it's raising awareness and money is being raised!
Essure is the only non-surgical permanent birth control available
Essure is a permanent birth control option that can help you live without the worry of an unplanned pregnancy.
Non-surgical—Essure is a short 10-minute procedure that can be performed right in your doctor’s office.
There's no downtime to recover—most women go home within 45 minutes and resume normal activities within 1-2 days
Non-hormonal -Essure inserts do not contain or release hormones
Proven—Essure is over 99% effective*
May be available at no cost—Essure may be covered by your health insurance plan at no cost†
FDA-approved and has been available for over 10 years
So when I read the brochure at my doctors office I thought, "wow, I have four kids and this would be great. No down time and I wouldn't get pregnant again and hey the FDA has approved it and it's been available for over 10 years! And it's an in office procedure!"
So I talked with my OBGYN and we set the date! August 9, 2013! I was excited. I suffer from depression and after each child my postpartum depression got worse and worse. So this would help put my mind at ease. No more kids and such an easy procedure!
So August 9th came and I took the medication they told me to take before my appointment. I got there and they gave me some more medication and then it was time to go and get the Essure put in! My initial visit I had no pain. The right side went in smoothly. The left side was a little more trouble and my doctor wasn't sure if it was in all the way.
First let me say, the procedure did not take a mere 10 minutes. I was in there for 30 minutes.
Second there was no waiting time to go home, the procedure was done and I was sent on my way. No watching for any kind of a reaction or anything.
Afterwards I went home and I was able to go right back to what my normal routine was that night. No issues! At least, not at first.
In September, that following month (2013) I started noticing my depression was getting worse, my anxiety attacks started to come more easily. And as the months went on I had other symptoms. Painful periods, heavier periods, night sweats, my blood sugars were off (low), I had spotting and bleeding in between periods, I got dizzy more often, my chronic lower back pain got very worse, I bloated easier, I had GI issues, painful intercourse ect. I didn't put the two and two together for the longest time.
On 11/13/2013 I went in to get my HSG confirmation test done. Right side was blocked, left was not and the coil was no where to be found. The test was very painful and caused very bad cramping.
After discussing with my OBGYN about how difficult it was to place the left side, she recommended I go back to Dr. Thurmond and have my left side redone with an x-ray technique.
In January of I noticed I was getting sharp sudden pains in my right side of my pelvic. It was random and didn't happen that often so I ignored it. How ever it started slowly getting worse. April it started becoming worrisome.
On 5/2/2014 I went back to Dr. Thurmonds office to make a second attempt to put in a coil in my left side. This experience was the exact opposite of my first.
I was give nothing for pain or to calm me. Essure reps were there to watch the procedure. I was in there for over 45 minutes. The pain was worse than labor pains. I was in tears and even though it hurt so bad, no attempt was made to stop. Finally she said she couldn't do it because my tube was bent over itself. That I should come back and do it under local anesthesia. I was baffled at why I never got anything before hand for pain management. In the middle of it all, they did give me 800mg of ibuprofen. But that was it. I was in so much pain that it took me over 10 minutes to get up after the procedure to get dressed and I almost wasn't able to walk out of the clinic. The pain was so immense I cried until sometime that evening when finally I passed out in bed. And that attempt, unsuccessful.
The pain didn't let up all weekend and I found myself back at my OBGYN's office. There she did an exam and diagnosed me with PID and sent me home with two antibiotics. After a few days I started to feel better, but the pain only went away a little bit. Again the pain returned. It got to the point where I couldn't do anything. No house work, I couldn't even take care of my children. This resulted in my husband not being able to go to work with out pay. Again I saw my OBGYN who referred me to a GI specialist and gave me more pain pills.
I saw the GI specialist and as I was explaining everything to him, he honestly told me he didn't know why I was there, but still wanted a stool sample and sent me back to my OBGYN. In between I had two visits to the ER. One ER visit they did a cat scan that showed nothing, but some constipation. Little did I know later, that they DID in fact find something. One of the coils lodged in my uterus.
Stool sample came back normal and my OBGYN was calling me her mystery patient. So at my appointment surgery came up. I could do an exploratory surgery to see if it was my endometriosis and go from there. Or since I had four kids and my postpartum depression was worse with each one, we could do a hysterectomy . After much discussion and with the fact that I could not afford mentally to have anymore children and we couldn't afford my husband really to take off time for an exploratory surgery to only have to go back for another surgery, we made the final decision of a hysterectomy.
It was an easy, but hard decision. At the age of 32 I never thought I'd have to have a hysterectomy. I mean when I was diagnosed with endometriosis back in 2005, I knew having a hysterectomy might be a possibility if the pain from it got worse. But never did I think I would ever have to go through one. Luckily she had an appointment open the next week for a robotic assisted surgery, also known as a da vinci surgery. An in patient surgery, will minimal surgical openings and the recovery time is much shorter than a normal abdominal hysterectomy.
So that week with the help of pain pills, I hurried to prep my house and my family for my surgery. I was scared and nervous, but I was hopeful that the pain would finally go away. And hey, no more periods with out pregnancy? That was a plus I have to say! Surgery was May 30, 2014!
I am thankful for my family. My mom and dad came down the day before my surgery to stay with the children so my husband could stay with me. I only slept maybe 45 minutes that night. We arrived, I checked in and slowly they prepared me for surgery. I had some wonderful people that as I sat in the operating room crying waiting for the anesthesia to kick in, they held my hands and talked nothing but positive words to me.
Before I knew it I was in the recovery room. I do remember that they had to watch me extra closely because I would stop breathing in my sleep. I remember alarms going off and nurses coming over and telling me to breathe. Eventually I went to the recovery floor and they called my husband in. I was feeling pretty good and was so happy to see my husband. (The poor thing worked the night before and slept while waiting for me to come out of surgery). Surgery only took about two hours. The recovery nurses (everyone there at the hospital) were great. I had to be able to drink, eat and pee before going home. So after proving I could do all of those, I was released to go home.
I got home to my kids and parents waiting for me. Husband helped me up the stairs and into bed. I slept most of the rest of the day. My parents surprised me and took the kids that weekend (surgery was a Friday) so that Matt and I could rest. And my mom, bless her heart, took a week of vacation for the next week to be able to come down with my grandma so that Matt could work that week and I had someone taking care of me and the household. (Because of all the previous time missed, he could barely afford a week off.) I slept most of the weekend off. It was nice to be able to spend some one on one time with my mom and grandma. I am so blessed for them. My mom and dad spent their anniversary away from each other to help me out. Blessed I am I tell you!
At my two week check up, things looked great and I was told I could SLOWLY get back into my routine. I went for my six week check up, but had to postpone it for another week since a birth came up for my OBGYN. So that following Monday I saw my doctor. She checked and said still nothing vaginally (may be TMI but so what) for another two weeks. But other than that things were looking fine. She did say they found the first coil, from my left side embedded in my uterus. She sent my uterus out for testing and even though NO endometriosis was found and all tests came back fine, she couldn't confirm that is what was causing my pain.
So I was happy to be feeling good, in recovery and getting my life back. The vaginal exam was painful and I had cramping afterwards that continued into the night. Tuesday morning, I started not feeling well and had pain still. But I chalked it up to just being sore from being examined. By that evening my fever had spiked to 104. Even when my fever started at 99, I was having the shivers and sweats. So Tylenol was every 4-6 hours along with ibuprofen and some pain pills for the cramping.
Wednesday morning I was feeling worse. I was dizzy and even with Tylenol and ibuprofen in me, my temperature was staying at a 104 even. I was dizzy, nauseated, sleepy, in pain and have the shivers and sweats. So I called my OB's office. I can't say I was very pleased with my OB's assistant. When I told her how high my fever was she questioned that my thermometer was broken. Saying I'd feel like death if my fever was in fact that high. I (not in a very nice way) told her that I did feel like death (I actually said shit) and that I took my children's temperatures and there's were normal and taking mine again it was back at 104. By this time I had woken up my husband who was suppose to work that night. After waiting for my OB to call back, my husband was worried. They called me back saying they'd called in pain pills, and that I needed to rest more and that more than likely my thermometer was broken. At this point, I didn't have the energy to fight. I was exhausted. When my husband heard this news, he was not happy and decided to stay home to keep an eye on me.
Thursday morning he went to bed just in case he could go to work that night. I however was feeling much worse than the day before. I remember my feet, hands, arms and legs feeling tingling and thinking I was cutting off circulation due to laying on the couch so much. I sat up and just started bawling. But kept thinking to myself "knock it off, you have some sort of cold, get over it." I remember my dog Boo, nudging my hands and feet. After awhile of sitting up, the tingling in my hands, feet arms and legs was not going away. So I pulled the blankets off of myself and saw that they were purple and blue. That's when I knew something was very wrong.
I had my daughter Lilly wake up my husband who said we were going to the ER. So off to the ER we went. I will say this is the first time ever, that after taking my vitals, they didn't even tell me what they were. The nurse took my vitals, got me a wheel chair and with in two minutes I was back in a room in the ER. (Later I found out my blood pressure was 74/53 and my temp was 106, so maybe my thermometer was in fact broken...) I had a nurse on each side putting and IV in each arm. They informed me they were giving me fluids and antibiotics. With in five minutes of being in that room a doctor came back and told me they suspected sepsis and that they needed to find where the infection was. At this time, I had no clue how serious sepsis was. I figured they'd find the infection, finish the fluids and antibiotics and send me home with more antibiotics. How wrong I was. This was just the beginning of it.
I had a vaginal exam and the infection was found in my vaginal cuff area. A CT scan luckily showed not abscess, but still where some of the infection was. At this point it was when the nurse informed me I'd be admitted. So my husband and children were called back so I could tell them. My husband, was freaking out at this point. He tried hiding it, but being with him for 10 years, I knew he was frantic. And after asking more questions, is when I realized that they were admitting me into the ICU. Even at this point, I didn't grasp how bad this really was. So husband left with the kids to figure out what to do with them (who they could stay with) so he could get back to me. They admitted me into the ICU. And then I got to have IV in my neck. (That was not fun, but necessary.) When my husband finally returned, in walked him and behind him my dad. When Matt sent my sister a text, she told my parents and they immediately came down. I had went into septic shock!
They stayed with the kids while Matt stayed with me. I stayed in ICU for two days before I was able to go into a regular hospital room. Saturday, the children came to see me along with my parents. That is when the doctors came in to tell me I had gotten a strep A infection and that I'd probably be in the hospital for another 3-4 days. So after hearing that, my mom and dad took the girl back home with them and Matt drove the boys up to his parents.
I was feeling better, but I was still exhausted. Some how I was able to go home that Sunday. My in laws and parents kept the kids the rest of the week so I could rest, relax and regain my strength. I was given a antibiotic for ten days.
During my hospital stay I found out that a friend from high school was also in the hospital for the same thing. We chatted back and forth on face book. And since I pulled through, she would pull through just fine, or so I thought. We picked up the kids the following Sunday and when we arrived home, I found out that my friend Catie had passed away from complications of surgery and sepsis. That is when it hit me just how serious it was.
After those antibiotics I still wasn't feeling 100%, and had diarrhea. So I went back to my OB and was diagnosed with c diff. And so I was put on yet another antibiotic. And medicine for a yeast infection. This is beginning of August now.
I just now finished that antibiotic. I'm still pretty weak and dizzy. My immune system is weak and I am weak from not being able to really do much anymore. And to think, this all started with Essure.
I can only hope, I am finally on the road to recovering my health.
When I got Essure the warning labels did not have nearly as much as they have on them now. After my hysterectomy I decided I needed to find other women who may have had the same issues as I did. So I looked it up. I found the page Essure Problems. I read and I was in shock. I wasn't alone and there were so many that were still suffering and had way worse reactions to Essure. I found their face book group and joined and read the posts. The list of what people had from Essure was shocking and scary. I got off easy compared to the other women.
The list of side effects is a list that is long and keeps having things added to it. And what is even more scary, women are getting pregnant a lot even after this procedure has been done and confirmed to "have worked." That is putting their unborn babies lives at danger but their lives as well.
Here's a news article on the Essure lawsuit that was recently done.
Erin Brochovich has started an essure website and has a petition started to get Essure taken off of the market. I believe it needs to be done. Too many women are suffering from this terrible device. I get that any medical item will have side effects, but this is far worse than some simple side effects.
Please sign the petition and visit Erin Brochovich's page HERE.
The word needs to get out about Essure and the issues it is causing and how the FDA is ignoring the thousands of women who are now having issues due to this device.
To learn more, or to talk to women about what has happened to them since having the Essure device put in, please visit the Essure Problems face book group and ask to join. At least this way you can see it, ask questions for us that have been there and make an informed decision.
Not only I, but the thousands of women who are in pain ect from Essure want to get the word out and to educate women of this awful device.
If you have any questions or anything, please join the face book group above or I'd be happy to answer any questions you may have also.
Yea it's been awhile, like too long. Not as long as it has been before but long.
I know I am suppose to tell you about Essure and I will, but this post is not about Essure.
This post is about depression. No one likes that word. In fact it has started many arguments. People either understand or don't. Honestly you either get it or you don't. You can't kind of understand depression. Only when you've been in that deep dark hole that depression can suck you into, you never really "kind of get it." It's something I would never wish I anyone. I don't care how mean you've been to me, ect.
It's a disease. And it kills people every single day. People with depression have to wake up and make that choice to be happy. And they have to continue to make that decision through out their entire day. In fact for me, if I'm sort of happy and I haven't cried that day or had some sort of a break or shut down, it's a win. A hard win, but I'll take it. Because I've been worse. Far worse.
I know a lot of people have posted about this lately due to Robin Williams unfortunate death. It hit me harder than I ever expected it to. I dunno I guess it just goes to show you, that maybe some of the happiest people you know, the people you think who have everything, really aren't that happy and don't feel they have everything. In fact they feel terrible on the inside, but they don't want to let you know. It's often the people who want to make everyone else happy that suffer with their own happiness.
For awhile only my closest friends and family knew of my depression. I hid it well. I put a "mask" on so to speak for everyone else. Make them smile. Smile myself to put on that show of "everything is great!" And when people actually learned I suffered from depression I always heard "Wow, you're the last person I'd ever suspect that would have depression." And at first I believed that too. As my disease progressed and got worse (even suffered from postpartum depression with every one of my kids and with each child it got worse.) and as I got to know others who suffered as well I noticed, that it's not a disease that shows itself readily to everyone. And the person or people who suffer from it don't really want to show it to others and it is always the ones you "never suspected."
Why? Well just look at the death of Robin Williams. He died because of a disease. And names of "selfish, coward ect" are being thrown at him. And really there is nothing selfish about it, not to the person who is that depressed. We often get it stuck in our heads that everyone will be better off with out us and that WE are doing a favor to everyone. Of course we aren't, but non the less that is, at that very time, in that deep dark place of feeling so alone, we really do believe that. And really, a coward can't ultimately do it.
And as I have read the harsh words from people I've just sat here and thought "You do not know depression do you? You obviously don't because your words alone that you are deciding to use against people literally can cause someone who is depressed and teetering on that line of step back and you are ok to just a slight step over the cliff and off I go." And then, I feel sorry for those people. Sorry that they cannot have more compassion and pick wiser words. Instead harsh comments and negative is all they lash back with.
And that, that is why people with depression do not want to tell anyone. Part of it is we don't want to be that burden on anyone (I know this all too well and it hits close to home) and we don't want people to reject us when we reach our hand up for help to pull us back up over that cliff and be there to say "It's ok, we will get you through this." If you are spewing harsh and mean words, how could you believe anyone would want to reach out, to you OR anyone to get help. You can't. And so depression is often put together with feelings of shame. Feelings of we are just crazy, we can snap out of this at anytime. We are just playing victims.
I wish I could just "snap out of it." I wish I could say all I was doing was dramatically playing the victim. I really wish there was an easy button to push to make it all go away. But there isn't. It often requires medication, self reflection, self work, therapy ect. And that just might keep one from going over that dark edge.
Depression is an every single day, hour, minute and second fight with in yourself. We "might" get breaks from it, but we know it's sitting there in the corner, waiting for us to come back. Waiting to swallow us in the darkness so that it may watch us struggle as we try to go towards that bright, positive light.
In the last few years I've learned to not be afraid to let others know that I suffer from depression. I have no been afraid to literally defend others with depression to those that have such harsh words and seem to know just how those with depression can just snap out of it or get over it. I may come across as a bitch when I do so, but it's because I'm passionate about it. And I'll be damned if I sit there and let another human being shame someone like people shame those with depression.
I have my good days and I have days where I would like nothing more than to hide in my room. I have days where no one or nothing can get me down. And I have days where one word, or one rude person can break me into a million pieces. I am human, we all are and we all make mistakes. It's how we react to those mistakes that tells others what kind of a person you truly are. And sadly, many choose to still walk away after making mistakes as if they have done nothing wrong.
As someone who suffers from this terrible disease, I say to you, those that also suffer, you are not alone. You are not fighting this battle alone although it may seem you are. I know how you feel and I truly wish I could make it go away. But I can't,and it will stay in our faces. So don't be ashamed to ask for help. Don't listen to others as they put you down. Remember those that put you down, often do so because they don't like who they are, or, are threatened by who YOU are.
Please if you need help, don't hesitate to ask anyone around you. Call your doctor, call a friend, call a family member or get a hold of the National Suicide Prevention life line as seen below:
You are never alone in this....seek help because you have a reason to see the next day....
*WARNING There are some photos that may be disturbing or upsetting to some. I do feel that it is important to show them so that I do not forget what has happened and to help remind those that life is so precious.*
Ahh so it has been awhile. In March we moved. Also in March I started having some pain in my lower right pelvic side. It was not strong at first, and only happened every so often. That went on until mid April. Then the pain started getting to the point where I couldn't even take care of my kids and house hold. I saw my regular doctor, who sent me to my OB, then my OB send me to a GI specialist who then sent me back to my OB. I was kind of a mystery. Xrays showed nothing. But a CT scan showed I had a coil (from Essure, a permanent birth control device. Learn more about it here http://www.essureprocedure.net/ it is a permanent birth control for women, that sadly has many negative side effects and have left many women with hysterectomies, pregnancies after Essure ect. Please click that link to learn more and it would be wonderful if you signed the petition as well. You'll know why I directed you to this particular site shortly) embedded in my uterus. No one of course told me this. I found out only after requesting a copy of MY medical records. So after discussion with my OB it was decided based on my pain I was having and the fact that we were blessed with four children, that a hysterectomy was going to be the best decision for me. (My Essure only took on the right side. Even after two attempts to place it on my left side, it had failed. And the coil that was embedded in my uterus was from the first attempt.)
So, May 30th, I went in and had a Da Vinci surgery (robot assisted) hysterectomy. Everything went great. At the time, there was no endometriosis around (good news) and she didn't or couldn't see what would have caused my pain. Later after my uterus was tested everything came back normal, except for the coil embedded in my uterus. Although they can't say that was the cause of my pain. How convenient.
Below are some photos. *Warning some are of my incision areas on my stomach, while not real graphic, not everyone may want to see them.*
Hubby and I in recovery waiting to go home!
Me with my Essure Ribbon.
*SURGERY SITE PHOTOS NEXT*
Here are my small three incisions. That's all it took to do my hysterectomy. Amazing how far we've come with our medical advances! This is the day of the surgery! Looks pretty good!
A recovering selfie in the hospital.
A selfie of me once I was home, same day as surgery!
Recovery was pretty easy. The first 48 hours were the hardest. But I have to give a HUGE shout out to my dad and mom who came down to watch the kids the night before and took the three of them up to their house for that first weekend from my surgery so I could get 100% rest with out having to worry. A huge shout out to my in laws who took Emma before and kept her a few weeks after my surgery to help out. Again a shout out to my mom and Grandma Jackie who came down for a week afterwards to help out and encourage me to get out of bed and walk around. My mom took a week of her own vacation time. The appreciation I have for them cannot even be expressed. Even recovering, it is a week I will never forget. I got to spend quality time with my mom and grandma and I am forever grateful for that!
My advice for anyone who is getting a hysterectomy. Prepare yourself. Prepare your family and kids, especially if they are young (mine are 7, 5, 3 and 2). Also don't be afraid to ask for help. Your family and friends are wanting to do this, trust me. You aren't a burden on them. They love you and let them help you and show you that love and support. And when they say to rest, REST! It is so important. With out the proper rest, you are just prolonging the time it takes to recover. Let family and friends bring over meals. If you have time to prepare, look up freezer meals you can make ahead of time to help out your significant other. Use your recovery time to, journal, read those books you've been wanting to read, or watch those shows you've been wanting to watch. Sign up for Pogo and play some games and most importantly look for a support group on line. You are not alone and that support played a HUGE role in helping me recover!
And if you had excellent care at the hospital that you had your surgery at, this is a perfect time to write thank you notes. Too often the nurses and staff at the hospital hear about everything people didn't like. But hearing a thank you for the great job they did and how much you appreciate it, that makes them keep going. Knowing they touched the lives of others.
So my recovery was going along great. My check ups at my OB's office went smoothly. I had my last check up Monday, July 14th. I was a bit sore, but things were fine, I was feeling great and I was headed home with a good bill of health. Sadly Tuesday my fever spiked to 104. Even when it just started at 99, I was having the body shakes and chills. I was sick to my stomach and couldn't eat anything. I was taking Tylenol and ibuprofen to help with the pelvic pain I had started and with the fever. But even with that, the pain was still there and my fever rarely went under 104. Wednesday morning I called my OB's office and talked with her assistant (only way to talk to my doctor is through her). I'm very disappointed because I was told my thermometer was broken and even in an adult I'd feel like death with that high of a fever. My response, "I checked my children's temps right after and they were all normal, checked mine and again it was a little over 104 and I feel like (excuse the language) fucking shit. I can't do anything." As usual I was talked down to my my OB's assistant. I asked if I needed to come see them or go to the ER. About 45 minutes later I got a call back from the assistant: "Your thermometer is probably broken and you don't have a fever. The vaginal exam just probably caused some pain so you need to rest and we called in vicodin for you." At that point I was done and said "ok." Whats funny is it states in my records I can't take vicodin because of a past addiction to it.
My hubby stayed up all night to watch over me. He was suppose to work that night but stayed home. So the next morning he slept to get some sleep. By around noon, my fever was starting to go over 104 with fever reducer in me and then my arms, hands, legs and feet started going numb and tingly. I took my arms out from under the covers and they were purple and blue. I knew something was wrong and that is when my husband was woken up. He got the kids ready and took me off to the ER at Providence in Portland. His response, "Don't call that bitch back, she isn't listening and I'm taking you in the an actual hospital." Can you tell the hubby was just a tad bit, upset?
I almost wasn't able to walk into the ER on my own. In fact my husband was holding me up. They checked my vitals. That is the first time EVER I was not told what my vitals were. The nurse said "Stay here I'm getting you a wheel chair." She wheeled me over to a bed to lay on. With in two minutes I had a nurse bringing me to the back in a wheel chair. With in ten minutes I had a nurse on each side, putting a IV in each arm. The doctor actually came in and said "We suspect you are in septic shock from an infection somewhere. So we are going to do a CT scan, put you on three strong antibiotics and do a pelvic exam." I still didn't grasp the seriousness of it. I was still thinking, "Oh ok, they'll do their tests and send me home with antibiotics."
Right after my CT scan he did a pelvic exam. Not even 20seconds of that and he knew that's where my infection was (vaginal cuff). After he left the nurse (Tiffany, she was awesome!) that when ever I was ready I could have my husband and kids come in so I could tell them I would be admitted and not going home. At this point I was confused and didn't know why I really needed to be admitted. I asked her why and she informed me that I had a serious infection going on, one I could die from. So she brought back my husband and kids and I told him I was being admitted. Of course Matt, freaks out, not showing it, but I know my husband and he was a bit scattered brained about it. He kept asking why, how long. And then when she said in ICU at first I could tell he was really upset. So he started calling his parents so he could get the kids taken care of so he could stay with me. At this point it sort of hit me what was going on and the seriousness of it and in sets an anxiety attack, in front of my kids. I hated that. They were able to give me something to help calm me, but in the mean time my poor children had to witness it and they are too young to grasp any of this really. My husband kissed me goodbye and left to go home to get the kids ready to take up to his parents. He had sent a text to my sister saying I was being admitted for sepsis into the ICU.
Shortly after they left I was wheeled up to ICU. I have never been in the ICU, not as a patient or nor have I been in one to see a loved one. So this was all new to me. Not long after I was in there a nurse came in and said they would most likely be putting a IV in my neck to get the blood pressure medicine to my heart quicker. (My blood pressure at check in was 74/53 and my temp, with Tylenol was 106!) So the doctor came in to explain the IV for my neck and had me sign a consent form. Shortly after that, the process began. Hubby still wasn't back so it was just me. Thankfully I had a wonderful nurse named Amber who sat there and kept me calm and wiped away my tears as the procedure was taking place. Just as they were wrapping up, she got a call that my hubby was back to come see me. I was so happy to see him again.
To my surprise in walks hubby and behind him, my daddy! Talk about one of the best surprises! My sister informed my dad and my dad and mom (step mom actually, but I call her mom cause that's what she is to me) had called Matt and said they were on their way down, had taken the next day off and were ready to help in anyway! Seeing my daddy and knowing the kids were at home with my mom really helped my moral.
*WARNING Pictures of me in the ICU. These may be too much for some to see*
I post these because I do not want to forget how close it was to being a bad outcome. And to let others know, if you think something is wrong, just go in. Trust your gut instincts.
The next morning my sister Kelly came to visit me. It was very nice seeing her, emotional, but nice. To know so many people cared was very helpful in lifting my spirits. Just the out poor of love I got on just my facebook alone to those that couldn't get there ect, helped in ways no one imagined they could. Mid day they said that I could probably go to a normal hospital room the next day. So that was good news.
So around 2am Saturday morning (the 19th) I was moved to a normal hospital room. Someone who needed my room more than me needed to come in. I have put two and two together and I think I know who it was. If I am correct he passed away Sunday evening. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family.
Saturday my dad, mom and kids came to visit me in the hospital. Mom and dad brought me some beautiful flowers.
The kids were pretty quiet. The older two weren't phased by me being hooked up to stuff and easily gave me hugs goodbye. The younger two though were pretty freaked out. :( While they were all there, the regular doctor and the infectious disease specialist came in to see me. My diagnosis, a strep A infection in my vaginal cuff area. A rare form of it is what I got and it is rare to get it where I got it. So, we caught it in time and I'm pretty damn lucky to still be here. When Matt asked how much longer I'd be in the hospital, they said another 2-4 days. So I said goodbye to my kids and my parents and hubby. The girls went with my parents for the next week and Matt brought the boys to his parents house for the next week. he came back home so he could stay in the hospital with me. He was with me every night, even when the ICU nurses asked him if he really wanted to stay.
My beautiful hospital view, the sun was shining and that helped and selfie of me feeling much better!
They say never to do hospital selfies, but in this case, I really don't want to forget what I went through.
Plus thanks to the IV fluids I had sausage fingers! lol
The next day I had some breakfast and Matt went home again to let the dog out to go potty and take care of a few things at home. While he was away the infectious disease specialist came to see me. Basically they wanted to make sure I could tolerate the antibiotic I was on in a pill form with out throwing it back up. When he noticed I was able to hold down a variety of food, he said "I'm going to talk with the doctors, you may be able to go home today." While I was calm on the outside, I won't lie, I was ecstatic to be able to possibly go home! So I let Matt know and he came back to the hospital. I ordered lunch. Around 1pm I wondered if I would be staying another night. Which would be fine, I want to make sure I was ok to go home. But around 2pm the Doctor came in and said "Good news, you get to go home this evening!" So Daeil our nurse (my day nurse and he rocked!) came in and did the paper release work around 3pm and took my IV's out ect. So I proudly walked out of the hospital and was ready to go home.
Even if I was in there for a pretty bad thing, I could not be more appreciative of the staff there. Everyone from the nurses, doctors, cafeteria workers, house cleaning ect were nothing but kind and nice. It was an amazing experience, even if I was in there for sepsis and a rare for of a strep a infection! So if you are in town and need to be see right away check them out! St. Vincents Medical Hospital Link You will not be disappointed. My appreciation I'll never be able to fully show them for their care they gave me and how well they took care of not only me, but my husband!
We did have to head back to the hospital as some flowers were delivered for me from our good friends Sam and Terri. They made me smile!
I will say with all of the IV fluids in me, I had a stomach that stuck out so far I couldn't see my feet. What's funny is there was a Lamaze class going on and there were all these pregnant women. I totally could have passed as one at that moment! Took the IV fluids a full week to really get out of my system and make it to where I was back to being comfortable.
Monday our good friend Doug came over to bring by dinner and see how I was doing. I call him our animal whisperer. Why? He even had our cat Opi near him, and she does not like strangers. But for now here he is with Ra. Our friendly cat!
That same day there was a knock at the door. An old high school friend Kenni had sent me flowers. That put such a huge smile on my face. I love that girl like a sister, and I miss her so much!
And Lillie's are my favorite flowers. ;) So bonus points for Kenni! lol
The kids stayed with their grandparents for the next week. Tuesday hubby took me out to lunch and to see the movie Tammy Heads up. The previews show a lot of the funnier parts of it. But this story has a great story line/plot to it. So while many were disappointed, I think it was because they weren't expecting it to actual have a great story line to it. It was a good, heart warming yet funny movie, IMO.
My next post I'll go into my detail about Essure.
While I was in the hospital I learned that a high school friend was also in the hospital for the same thing. At the time I didn't realize how much more serious hers was. Sadly, Catie passed away Sunday July 27th at 1:43pm. She leaves behind three children, a loving significant other and many family and friends. It was sudden and I had just been talking with her. She was the kind of person that no matter what she was going through, she always made time to be there for others. She was such a kind, kindred spirit and I've been having a really hard time grasping this. I haven't seen her since high school, but it doesn't make the hurt any less. But I know she is no longer suffering and God got another angel. She has earned her wings and she is flying high and watching over us all.
Catie
You are truly missed. But because you were such a kind, genuine person with such a huge heart, God needed you to help him. Until we meet again, my dear friend.....
Here is a balloon release I did in honor of Catie. I hope these balloons with such dear messages reach her in heaven.
Saturday is a Celebration of Catie's Life. It will be hard, but we need to celebrate the wonderful woman she was and celebrate how much time we did get with her.
So these past few months have been an emotional roller coaster of emotions. It's been hard on me in every way possible. But I am blessed to have an amazing, husband, children, family and friends. And for that, I feel so appreciative. And please, hold your loved ones close. Never not tell someone you love them. Life is so precious....
